Lately I have felt like my life has been in a holding pattern. Awaiting the next big thing, idling in neutral preceding a momentous event that will shift my life, my family, or my career into drive. Lacking the time needed to really exert myself forward, I decided to hunker down into a state of suspension. If I can’t see any major changes, I’m not changing at all, right? I’ve been so focused on what’s next that I’ve neglected to see the beauty of what is around me.
On this overcast December morning, as I sat in the stillness of my home, sipping coffee while underneath a warm blanket, I noticed something.
As I listened to my husband strum his acoustic guitar in the next room as I worked on a Christmas gift for a loved one, I heard something.
Even now, as I’m trying my hardest to poetically string together words in the same manner that a child tries to portray a landscape with crayons, I feel something.
I’m already there. That is, where I needed to be today, by the grace of God, I’ve made it. Despite my best efforts, despite my lack of vision, and despite my ungratefulness, God has placed me exactly where He wanted me today. And I know that no matter where I am tomorrow or next year, it will be exactly where He has designed me to be, according to His schedule.
It is only expected of me to use what has been given to me to the fullest potential. That does not mean focusing on what I want next, nor does it mean yearning for what I do not have. This day is a gift. Everything I have is a gift. Everything I do not have is a gift. God knows me better than I know myself. And I must, for the condition of my soul, live fully in the moment that has been gifted to me. It’s time to stop hovering over my life and instead immerse myself fully.